I stumbled upon the time schedules I made a few years ago as a thought experiment for a hypothetical trip to Tokyo – a table for each neighbourhood, an example pictured below.
I had a severe case of itchy feet, and it still hasn't gone away. Planning trips I know I won't do in the near future is the way I deal with it.
long & personal; on people-pleasing (+)
The interaction notes I wrote and pinned on my main account yesterday are snippier than the ones from last year, because this time I reject bigots and techbros without apologizing. The reason is that I am slowly losing my desire to please other people and to make yet another exception to my boundaries just to appease them.
Another symptom of that is the fact that the arrival of my new housemate is not accompanied by the anxiety of making a good impression to him. I’m too stressed out by other stuff to give a fuck about that, true, but I think there’s also a bit of this newfound “accept me for who I am, deal with it” attitude, which I have rejected for decades.
The only thing that has helped and is helping me going through that road is talk therapy, and I’m still doing my first baby steps. I hope that I will soon be able to gain even a little bit of confidence, as much as I need to look less awkward and to make new friendships easily.
sex ed (incl. aphobia)
The sex ed I received while I was growing up was awkward and badly organized. I don’t remember any reference to LGBTQIA topics – let alone any reference to gender or romance stuff. The detail I remember most vividly is an aphobic remark from our sex educator, which fucked me up for more than 15 years.
I wonder what perception I would have of myself, my sexuality, and my gender, if I had any kind of sex ed that was not strictly about the mechanics and the safety of heterosexual intercourse.
I mean, I could just gather some friends who are interested in puzzles on a web chat and start tackling some mystery hunts that are available on the internet, such as MIT’s
But again, I don’t have enough spare time for that
I watched a partial gameplay of the puzzle game “The Wilson Wolfe Affair” during the weekend, and it looks amazing, both as quality of the riddles and as production value. That’s the kind of cryptic puzzle adventure I’d love to tackle some day. I’d just need spare time, friends with an interest in puzzles, and a place for us to gather, but I never have all those three things at the same time
The idea of working on Saturdays and taking a day off mid-week for all the errands is becoming even more attractive, but unfortunately I can’t really do it, not even when I work from home